im in love with that

uh huh

oh yeah!!!

happy birthday taufik!!!

went out wit d.j. n cheryl. bought alot of stuffs. went round orchard. was saving as much money as possible. i was actualy gg wit other ppl do stuffs but since its d.j.'s last day to see me coz he's gg malaysia on tues i sacrificed. those ppl are gonna strangle me wen they see me men. i'm such a good fren.... [;p]

aft that went wit ma aunt go watch christmas with the kranks with a few 9 year olds. my day to be childish. the movie wasn.t bad as they say it is. wel diff ppl got diff views.

went dinner at pizza hut. was writting taufik rox all over the place.

went swimming wit the kids. its at night and we have the whole pool alone.

watched mona lisa smile. nice.

that's all. peace out.

blood

I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU!!!

a peiece of the whole that keeps us alive
the blood running through our veins
an evidence bonded by double-edged knives
of how my history still reigns

memories of roses interlocked in red
no matter what it's stuck in my head
so piercing but it can't be freed
in my heart where you sowed the seed

your words incisive as an axe
it tore the remaining barrier
blood is flowing out the dyke
the current is growing stronger

swore with blood never going back
but now all those words are hacked
contending not to walk on same tracks
alas, lacking in defteness and knack

blood is a sign of bondage
blood is a sign of strugle
it is a sign of weakness
it's a sign of me being unable

unable to move on to let go
to rise up from the low
to forgive and forget
to be real with no regrets

afraid to let everyone see
that i'm beelding because thee
that until now wounds have not healed
that blood is with me still

love is only a feeling

wad da hell to rite? duno wad to rite...

--writer's mind block--

peace out

i miss you every minute

got bloody french today
2.00 to 5.oo
suck
atleast can go out

For there is no friend like a sister In calm or stormy weather; To cheer one on the tedious way, To fetch one if one goes astray, To lift one if one totters down To strengthen whilst one stands. Christina Rosetti

life

the true meaning of life i easy to find
yet everybody is pretending to be blind
but once you open up your eyes
you can see an incomparabled paradise

i think everyone has a different defenition of life. often their definition is wrong. well i found mine a couple of months ago. its not that i was looking for it, it just came to me. actualy i've been living in that paradise since i was born. i was ignorant and took it for granted. i even despise it sometimes. but when you got the taste of it you'll never wana let it go. it a profound feeling that keeps you alive. i dont know. it might be friends, family, career,hobbies ot gods. but for me it all sums up together to make a one whole bowl of cereals called life. but one of those bits is the meaning. i ate it, it was good. i wish i could share it with everyone else. but i'm not yet ready to proclaim the good news. maybe because i havnt fully opened the box.

today went for class then after that went to my friends house. wah big men. 4 story. its a kind of condo but the house is bungalo. got swimming pool sia. gg there on 22nd go swimming then stay overnight then next day xmas party. we all planing for the party. my friend and i are i/cs for deco. we got bored and annoyed the rest. melinda and i was laughing the whole day. anthony scolding us the whole day. gabe crying because of us the whole day. yee chin and janice ignoring us the whole day and karen eating the whole day. instead of party meeting it was chaos. by 6 i was shouting 'im hungry' hoping that the maid would hear me. then i pretending to call kfc to order delivery. after all the anticts we went out and ate. went home by 9 and father scloding on phone cause curfew was 6. i told him "you yourself still outside the house by this time. your worse than me what. your curfew was at 5!!!" then he bursted and i put down the phone. quickly went to bed so i wont get more yellings when he comes back... haha...

it is better to have loved and lost than to never had loved at all

death is onli the begining

today weird day men... was asked by 3 ppl go out but cant go. father sick so mus stay jome take care of him. 2 of us stuck 2gether since mum n sis in ph and househelper out. i'm such a good daughter men. even prepared food for him.. thank you thank you. so was at home cleaning up room. finished half of it. lazy. then wanted to set up xmas tree but didn. watched tv da whole bloody day. then my father was lyk trying to call my mom on ph he took 10 tries... unsuccesful. it took me 1 try and i got connected.. how stupid can my dad be? then talked to ma mom. and ya know wad? my godfather died!!! i was lyk shocked men!!! is lyk i hanged for 1 min to recover then money wasted liao [phone call]... cant believed it.. argh... i was just talkin to him last year and i still can remember we kissed goodbye b4 i flew off. argh... damn sad men.. but y'al noe me.. even thou i wana cry i cant cry over a loss. so not crying yet some part of ma heart can feel pain... my closet godfather died... huhu... wish he go heaven or smth... haiz... anyways,,, thats all for now..

hey.. speaker fix liao... and guess who fixed it? ME!!! uh huh!! hu's da woman!!! uh huh!!! my dad cant even figure it out!!! uh!!! hey!! un-break my hart quite nice hor... eee. so emo sia. but nice man. heart melting sia. first time here it in my blog coz speaker spoilt last time. anyways change songe oredi. too bad...

i walked down the quiet boulivard
its lonely out here
there's nothing i can see
no voices i can hear

i shout out loud hello
but the onli reply is an echo
i need smebody to fill the space
i need u to complete my days

peace-y out-y...

lot 1 suckz - these are my connfessions

how come everytime i wana go out wit smebody i always end up being at lot 1? wa piang. got magnetic atraction.

wow. wel at last my whole body is healed. i got amazing healing powers... mwahaha. well the only thing is jus eat rite, drink alot of water, and sleep. and also not to be too emotionaly depressed. most of the ppl who get too emo actualy get sick more often so stay happy. a health advice from eunice... well jus realised how important health is.

anyways today went out wit dj. then we go ad house play badminton for 30 sec. haha. then went cycling for 1 hr. today was quite ok. haha...

i hv a confession to make. i hv tis fren who i hate alot but i got no actualy valid reason to hate him/her. he/she is jus to anoying for me. aiyo. feel guilty. he/she didn actualy do anything bad [maybe] jus dat i dun like her character. aiyo. hate him/her so much and i sulk everytime im stuck wit her. argh. hopely she wun see tis post to prevent suspicion. he/she doesn't visit much to my blog so it doesn't worry me much. it's not tatay btw [thou still got inner grudges]. ya thats abt it. been actualy asking ppl advice wat to do but still i duno wad to do. ahhh. k thats all. peas out peeps.

learn chinese - jin

i like that song... so cute...
y'all go learn chinese...

anyways. today fucking day. went for religous class hv to wake up at 6. still whole body aching. then was sleepy. slept on mrt. head keep banging on the wall. fuck. then along the way i walking slipped down coz of fucking slippers. like stupid asshole keep on triping. then hp fall on the middle of the road almost kene hit by lorry [i mean the real lorry]. then went home sleep. then felt bored asked 5 ppl go out. nobody went. ass. now fucking with da t.v. god i miss school. i miss u guys [holding back tears reaching for tissue] aiyo. fuck ah.

its raining again and i think of you
i remember all the gigs we've been thru
suddenly tears went falling with the rain
trying to keep myself in sane

you flooded my life with joy and sorrow
i've been given the signal to take the lifeboat
still i choose to drown in your love
cant escape the waves that floats

why cant i stop myself from thnking
why cant i let go
maybe becoz my greatest hapiness comes
when it rains and i'm with you

fuck ur asses peeps

peas out

seec 1 leadership camp...

damn it. very tired. whole body canot move. then my shoulder & neck like ive been carying tons of stuf. [eeee. shutter]. the only memoriable part of da camp was the the lemon thingy wad nonsense, the mud stuff and the night walk... anyways it was quite cool.. we were like playing wit water with the sec 1 and all that... then by the end of the day everyone of us transparent oredi... then the we played wit mud in the soccer field. all our shirt turn from white to brown colour. then the night walk we went into the forest outside sch then we led the sec 1 far far... after that they hv to go bak sch their own. kenneth, boon, ridwuan and kai was there to help us...[ncc] then we were suppose to hide in da forest see if anyone goes the wrong way. then albert, guan lin, nora, kampate, farah and me hid inside this pit and if anyone of the sec 1 passes by we will jump out and scare them. nora's hair was put down so it was like damn creepy. then she wearing white and all that. then kampate was making scary noises wich turned out to sound like chicken.. but then didn work out that much becoz kenneth scold us tel us to shut up.haiyo. but the realy greatest thing abt this camp is how we can get to know each other beter. we get closer together. we al wer like chating at nite wen all sec 1 sleep then toking abt diff sorts of stuf. relatnships, jokes, gossiping abt ppl. but only prob is that bloody 505 and the lorry... act big onli... in the end cry cry. aiyo. watever la... peas out.

shutter

ok... watched movie todae...
wit ten khad n pet...
i realy reccomend da movie men...
it was lyk so scary and like first time saw khad dat scared...
i mean all of us was scared lah... but khad.s usually not dat chicken type...
but there was this part... then was lyk so startling... lyk suddenly BOOM!!!
then khad suddenly jumped wit da BOOM and the nachos oso flew wit da BOOM..
then saw other ppl had the same reaction... then the movie hse all over
nachos flying.. haha it was damn funny... its suppose to be a scary movie but i was down there
clutchin ma stitch... then oso pet was lyk hugging everyone here and there... then she was lyk
oh no again!!! the scary part.. ahhhhhh....
and fatin was like instead of watchin da screen she was lyk watching her hands...
most of the time her hands all over her face...
i was oso freaked out to lah... on the last part... it was realy scary wer i hav to
cover my ears coz i was lyk freaking out... i was shouting lyk tarzan and all dat...
but on da first part of da movie i was shouting even though nth was scary then sme ppl shout wit me... then the man beside me was lyk.... haiz... duno if he's a man or wad... [can i poo first?]
haha... anyways it was scary... oso funny... Y DA HELL AM I EXPLAINING FULL DETAIL???
tnk da movie was good lah... but i hate da b.l.o.o.d. part... eee..... yuck... i dun wana elaborate on this part..

anyways after dat went shopping then went home... toking abt mean girls...
k signing off.... peas out..... byotch

wah... miss this page

oi...
havn blog for days coz bloody com spoilt!!!
does anybody still go here?
anyways...
duno whad to talk abt...
holidays... hmmm...
its da kind of feeling that ur bored but at the same time don't want to do anything with life...
wierd huh...
well honestly i wana go bak sch... miss sch...
the teachers and all.
u noe wad... sometimes when u go out too much.. u'll also get bored sooner or later haiz...
my mom out of town... sucks... so lonely at home... nobody nagging me, scolding me or shouting at me...
ahhh.. this is life...

well at least its gg preety well for da moment...
i noe sonner or later bad luck will come...
haiz... cant do anything abt it...
wel anyways...
thats all i can say for now...


[[masaya ako pumunta ako sa s.e.a. kung hindi hangang ngayon away parin]]

idiotic

to da peeps out there.. sorrri i dun updait nowadays coz me com spoilt... using pet's com to updait... jeeeezzzzzzz.... bored.... wish i can turn bak time....

ligaw ako pag wala ka...

GEOG DOWN...
seriously men... geog so hard. tink i'l slack... but i have faith in God.

went out with my cous jus now... he rulz!!! anime maniac like me!!! mwahahaha. i tot it'll be hard to converse with him but he tok like machine gun sia.

to all the ppl there... gud luck for ur exams!!!

my cous is here

my cousin visiting from philippines...
he bloody cool sia...
he in college now...
he knows everything about anime as much as i do!!!
so cool!!!
he looks a bit like my another cousin's bf...
COUSINS RULE THE WORLD!!!

ENGLISH DOWN!!!

asshole

why do you bother to read???
feeling nth... niether pain nor anger
too numb...
but still conscience say mus say sorry to you
its hard to be a christian men...
ok mus listen to Him... be a good girl...
here it goes...

SORRY
SORRY
SORRY

and oso if ur trying to make me angry
or wana make me go down ur knees

i dun get angry coz as i said... christianity...
and i am down on my knees because
my inner voice says so...

watevre u say wun affect me...
it'll onli affect u...

u still reading ah???
wah... i didnt noe u care so much sia...

i'm happi

now 123o in the morning chating wit dj and mich...
they both so funny
they make up my day...
lafing all by myself at my room...
i'm happy wit my life
i love mcm

singapore idol (cant be bothered)

yo... waz'up ppl... me hv mixed feelings rite now but... wondering y...
watched spore idol!!! wooohuuu!!! it rox men!!!
taufik rules the earth... with sly in his right hand!!!
ahhhh!!! obsessed wit it... wah.... like i skip studying for da sake of
watching spore idol... aiyo...

now a days i duno way i cant cramp anything in my mind...
maybe i feel i lack time...
droping down this year i swear...
anyways... goodluck to everybody!!! for the EXam i mean...
me myself gona work hard... coz i'm falling
and i'm da only one hu can catch myself...
peas out...

it's all up to you

whether yes or no
forever or for a while
for good or for bad
for better or for worse
close or far
whole or half
devoted or complacent
peace or persecution
permanent or temporary
embraced or alone
win or lose
seek for help or be independent
humble or proud
warmth or coldness
be understanding or be ignorant
be contented or sensitive
forgive or reject
to cherish or waste
to notice or ignore

it's all up to you
i dun wana take my decision anymore
i always chose the latter
but it always ends up wrong
i dun mind you taking liberties of me
i dun mind people taking advantages of me
as long as i make them happy
oh god i'm so selfish

miz_undur_standing

seriously men...
the story i heard is too twisted...
misunderstanding...
that's wat usualy ignites a fight
watever i write in my blog is not all abt one person

anyways, glad i have my "best friend" wit me.
he's da onli one hu can lift da burdens away
i tot i'm not gonna make it
i tot da pain will jus stay
but dat moment wen i cried... it was becoz of hapiness
knowing his wit me...
last time he wasnt there so i was lyk a lost sheep
now it doesnt matter that much
coz he carries the weight for me...
so glad his here
not feeling as drastic as b4

but i do wish we're back again
but too sick of it....
evrytime somethings wrong...
no matter how hard i try...
i still fail... making you hapi
haiz...

maybe leaving u alone is da best way...
but u noe...
like everybody else...
i'm as stupid as a pig
so i dun0 wats best for da world.
i only knoe wats best for me...
actualy sometimes
i dun even noe wats best for me.

but quite ok rite now.
feeling normal but at the same time
veri empty.

coolness

suck!!! huhuhuu!!!

wont be her for a long time until end of yr exam.... yahooo!!! everybody study hard!!! god this world suck alot!!! no let me rephrase... pple suck alot!!!! u guys suck!!! admit it its da truth!!!! i know it... everybody knows it... god knows it... ur mother knows it... only u dun know dat u suck alot!!!!! so long suckers!!!!

nagseselos - jealous

you look at her instead of me
two of you walking side by side
holding each other's hands
having the most romantic ride

it's tearing up my heart
i wana jump down and die
life is worthless wen we're apart
coz your the only reason why

i see u two laughing in unison
devastating dat she makes u smile
my heart stopped for a while
cant take da fact tt she's da one

and wen u cry she's there for u
she wipes away ur pain and blues
she's da one u turn in to
when ur confused on wat to do

wish i'm da one u hug at night
to be there instead of her
da one hu recieves ur sweet kisses
da one hu makes ur emotions stir

i wuld fight for u if there's a chance
to proclaim da world dat u ar mine
but if ur happy wit her alone
i'd rather leave my dreams behind

she better make u content
follow u werever u went
she better not break ur heart
but i'll be there for ur sake

if she fails to do all this
if she breaks all her promise
i'll try my best to ease the pain
i'll be there waiting in da rain

nagseselos

haiz so bored...
even though damn busy still bored...
this is da disadvantage of no sch...
still i wuld rather choose this bored life than sch...

when i was in distress
you were there for me
you lifted da burdens in my chest
from da cage, u set me free

when i was smiling
its was because i got you
da way u make my heart jumping
my agony just flew

ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
bloody hell!!!
argh!!!!
B - O - R - E - D

the way u make me melt
when i see ur face
my whole emotions rise
i'm lost in thus love maze

butterflies in my tummy
i wanna scream it out
wen u catch me starin' at you
my heart wana drop out

WHAT DA BLOODY HELL AM I WRITTING
see how bored i am???
can't even write a bloody poem...
not feeling emo write now....
haiyo...

happy 14th birthday to khadija btw

time

this world revolves because of one thing
it revovles because of time
each and every human counts for a living
either through justice or through crime

the past makes things happen
reminds us of jovial and miserable memories
the pleasant vistory, the pain-staking mistakes
how i wish i could turn back the series

the present is to hacken-eyed
hold on tight, it's gonna be the fastest ride
a minute its in ur hands
another it slips of like sand

the future is unpreidctable
tellers trying to make it up
the only thing u can do is shape it up
curious on what's about to happen, irresistible

time is too slow when ur in pain
when your distressed, when you grieve
its slow when you're waiting in vein
wishing that moment would just leave

time is too fast when you're in fear
when you're dreading for a phenomenon to happen
and in time of happiness
hours seems to turn into seconds

its like a river flowiing endlessly
u can't stop the water gushing freely
it makes you sick of things
wish i can fly away on eagle's wings

teachers day

hiaz...
todae teachers day n i havn got any present for a single teacher... feeling guilty... wats e use of buying present anyways??? huh... nyways... todae veri terrible day... fun thou... first ting in da morn wake up at 430... then went sch for decorations.... pissed wit da leaders... so un united...esp tt bloody eye... kelvin's pants was spilled over by h2o... then next is performance... almost forfited da dance coz da first round simply sux... den cd broke coz two assholes [pardon] wer playing nd it broke... culd be an accident but culd be prevented... then pissed of luckily they had enough time to burn another cd... so our dance hav to be squeezed last performance... then sme fights between da eva class... den cry cry... then went to my house wit mcm minus nora [coz she went wit diapers] then drink water n stuff [mum saw me werin punk o.f. n she didn mind... unbelievable] then while goin to lrt wit mcm minus n mich's sandals '"kapiang'" coz lis stepped on it... den she hav to go hme change slippers... then while in da lrt kelven noticed he forgot his ez link in sch so he went bak...then in da movie suppose to watch cinderela stori but end up watchin da face coz c.s. havn come out... then me n bro waited like hell coz rest of e mcm went bakt o thier p sch... then nora was late so i tell da uncle gaurding da cinema to jus let nora in... stup rite??? i noe... then movie was nice but i was distracted coz was thinkin of '"somethin'" then after movie was sad coz cnt get my mind of tt "'smethin'"... then took neo print wit da whole of mcm which was also horrible n hav to waste money for 2 shots n ibro n kelv didn bring dosh so nora n i hav to pay for'em... then luckily jane, shirley n peiwen came to da rescue to help us wit da neoprint stuff coz everythin was in jap n culdn understand a single thing... then went hme... got separated... took lrt wit nor... n tts e worse day of da week... thak you... evrybody tel me i punk todae... yuck... but i like it... hair... clothes... nails... make up... bling bling... i luked haf angel haf demon... no no... 3/4 angel, 1/4 demon... teacher's day rulz!!!

my hart's 2 heavy tt i cnt take it
wuld smebody tear it out from wihtin
smbody i beg u pls rip it out for me
coz its ful of burdens and sins

to love someone hu doesn care
tts da craziest ting smeone wuld do
to to show ur feelings
but in da end it hurts you

tt person is ur soul
but to her ur non-existent
ur jus a shadow tailing by
folowing wenever that person went

silently watching from afar
jus seeing da person
n ur day is complete
u noe she's hapi n ur content

eventhou ur not beside her for now
u will be wen she's in trouble
wipe away her tears n carry the pain
bear wit it even ur feet wobles

eventhou she has smeone else
u'l make sure tt da person cares
it's ok if ur not da one
as long as she's smilin' evrytme, evrywer

pain is life
life is fren
fren is pain

you suck

to somebody:::
haiz.... looks like i'm out of da curse. i dun care abt da times we were together. im grateful for wat u did in da past. but it was overshadowd by ur negativity. i beged u not to hurt her but u still did. ur way too sensitive. ur gona lose evrythin if u stay lyk tt. how many times hav i said u suck [which is tru] n how many times hav u said i suck [which can be tru]. its not leveled. remember not to do to others wat u dun want others to do to u.

to another somebody:::
i jus wan u to know tt i cre for you. i jus wan u to be hapy. as long as ur hapi im hapi too. but wen ur sad same goes to me. eventhou im not e source of ur hapines its ok. eventhou u dun notice i'm there for ya, its ok wit me. too bad u dun feel mutual. it hurts but ur smile relives da pain.

today 8pm wats da show???
singapore idol!!!
wow u guys rox man!!!
benjamin damn cute!!!
calvin reminds me of someone... eewwww....
david de cruz too action...
david teo is a good boy not an ah beng!!!
oli rulz!!! god her voice damn good man
but jeassea is e best performer tonight...
spore idol rulz!!!

busted

YOU SUCK!!!
YOU SUCK!!!
YOU SUCK!!!
YOU SUCK!!!
YOU SUCK!!!
YOU SUCK!!!

tired

for 15 years...
i've been luking for smebody to love...
luking for hapiness in different wrong places...
seems like he's the only one hu can mke me hapi...

i'm not dedicated to her as i'v felt b4...
i dun wan tt to hapen but it has to...
coz its ment to be tt way
i love her but she doesn
i wuld give up everything but she wont
oil n water dun mix togehter...
but her face is engraved in my hart...
i dun wan her to cry
tts y im trying my best not to let tt hapen..
but its no use...
maybe jus love her n expect nth in return...
tats wat real love is....
sana alam niya...
ppl ar realy blind huh....

sickening

why is it always like that???
it's damn sickening men!!!
keep on repeating the same situation!!!
argh!!!

napaka sensitibo mo!!!
wala naman masamang ginagawa nagagalit ka!!!
ano bang paki ko sayo!!!
ang iniisip ko lang eh si daga hindi ikaw...
gagong ungoy!!!
napakabakla mo!!!
hindi dapat ganyan ka emo ang mga lalaki!!!
unreasonable!!!
kaya lang pinagpapasensyahan kita kasi she cares about you!!!
kung hindi matagal na kita iniwan!!!
meh hindi ko makayanan yung ugali mo or bunganga mo or kilos mo!!!
argh!!! galit akon sayo!!! napaka unreasonable!!!
hay wala akong masabi!!!
nakakainis!!!

u only need patience if u want somebody bak...
time will work for you...
time is meaningful than any other treasures in this space...
it hurts to see my beloved friends in distress...

angel

wat if u have feelings for someone
wuld u tell tat person u do
or wuld u just keep silent
and then let da world be

ur afraid of being rejected
tat is why u dun giv a clue
as long as she's doin fine
ur glad by wat u see

ur jus an angel
watching over her
da fact tat she doesn't know
makes da thorns plunge in deeper
but da agony doesn't matter
as long as u stil see her around
no one knows tat ur lookin
coz she's up there and ur down

u always wana be there for her
wen she helplessly needs to lean
to protect her from her fears
and to carry her home

it wil rip r hart out wen she cries
becoz to u she is a queen
who must not be in distress
and never be lone

wen she's around
earth revolves too fast
but wen she's gone
time wil start to rust
waitin for her
seems too endlessly
but stil u wil
she holds destiny

people

i hate studying....
but i know i have to...

to all e ppl over there:::
remember to tink b4 u act...
coz u might hurt some one if u dun...
if u wana discriminate ppl
imagine if u wer on tat smebody's shoe...
ur life is condemned if u mke a single person cry
to all K.A.N. members

magician

magician

i am being hypnotised
see tat whirl in my eyes
im forever lost in ur smile
being unconscious all da while

say watever you command
anything i will do
with a snap of ur fingers
say da magic words: i luv u

everytime you come around
out of my hat comes a thousand hare
hopping endlessly on the ground

everytime you hold my hand
my agony disappears in thin air
with the flick of ur magic wand

abra-kadabra, alikazer
u can seprate my heart in two
nd you can fuse it back together
not even magic wil work, only you

inside the deck
choose one of the cards
let me read your mind
is it the queen of hearts

poem for my love

a poem for my love

thousand nights i lay on my bed
tryin' to write a letter in my head
how i treasure the words u had said
glad u pulled me out of the dead

i just cnt explain it in words
how i long for ur inevitable touch
to be lost in the look of ur eyes
and impart how i luv u so much

i wish i culd hold your hand forever
and never ever let go
missing you every time were not together
i want to be stuck with you

i whisper your name first thing in the morning
at night ur the last thing on my mind
making you laugh is worth living
ur sedative smile takin' me into an undulating ride

ur the inspiration behind my pieces
writing a poem about ur insidious kisses
im pertinacious about our song
wanting to keep you for so long

hollywood star

so many times this song is played
rewinding the situaition over and over again
repeating the same old series
wondering when is this season going to end

the novel is too heart ripping
sometimes i forget to follow the script
the director shouting "cut"
but the film is still recording

in front of the camera i try to laugh
but behind the scene being fraud is enough
i try to act like normal
but the story is just to dismal

why am i so stupid to make such an unreasonable decision
i thought by letting go it will end the session
that the agony will just disappear with the commotion
everybody, even my heart, told me to hold on
but i told myself i will move on
i threw away the platinum price i had won

but where the hell is the encore
everywhere's a silent moore

the moral of the play lost its point
apathy is left, need someone to anoint
now i regret what i did
what was the reason why i planted the seed
i didn't realy have a valid excuse to let go
when your the spotlight during the show

now it's againts all odds
if i get you back
appalingly strong was the impact
but day and night i will ask God
what's impossible when you believe
every ounce of my faith i will give

i'm sorry if i mauled you
please accept my act of contrition
my conscience is killing me
delinquent to the core, what to do

i was inimical, considered demented
insane that i came into that equation
lunatic because of my iniquity
it didn't turn out what i had intended

i know this poem is too hacknedeyed
but i just want to tell you a thousand times why
i wanted a pause, an interlude
because my role is just too crude

sinner

i'm drunk yard
too much your loving wine
i'm insane
i talk to myself, saying how your so fine

i'm a gambler
trying my luck in this relationship
i'm an addict
and your my drug i wana sip

i'm loner
when i'm without you
i'm a prostitute
immolate my soul too

i'm a killer
if anyone tries to hurt my baby
i'm a criminal
locked up in the prison of you heart
i'm a robber
i'll steal high quality
and give it to you
all my feelings im gonna impart

although i got no dignity
because of all my iniquity
you induce me to change from bieng unable
to live a life so impeccable
you persuaded my to walk in righteousness
instead of living in a world of darkness

i was deaf
but you sang a melodious song to my ears
i was mute
but you were my voice through this years
i was blind
beacude of all the kinds of wickedness
but now i'm binded by your love and kindness

now you know i'm disabled without your presence
i need you to hold me in your guidance
to keep track of my conscience

so i wanna thank you for what you've done
you encouraged me to hold on

orphan

rappers:::
khad
nurul
aifah
aten
atie
pet

yamakaze:::
farid
aimi
ali
kim
faiz
ibro???

inkano siempfoma:::
ibro
yuen
azu

me nowhere to go...
wahhhhhhh...
huhuhu.....
orphan....
somebody adopt me

the village

you know the movie???
it sux!!!
the story's quite lame
the effects are fine
some parts can be cosidered heart stopping
but the movie's so worthless

well if you ask me...
i would give everything for that movie
i would spend more than 8 bucks on that film
in fact i would give a million
just to be there
just to have that moment
i wish i could rewind time, then press play on that part
over and over again
or even pause that moment and be stuck on it forever
my wish came true at last

haiz... my happiness overwhelming
all my misery just vanished
i thank God with the whole of my bieng
three of us just holding hands in the middle of our fears
...
but still the movie sux!!!

malungkot

if you're happy and you know it clap your hands
-silence-
after ten years::::
clap, clap, clap.
mwahahaha....

these are my confessions:::
i'm stupid
i sux
i'm clumsy
childish
selfish
yup... thats me...
i confess to the whole world...
regret... aku rindu kau
haiz wish i could turn back time
my pride is to high
or maybe i'm just scared
even i don't know who i am
and i dont what to do...
i have to ask people what should i do
coz my brain no use...
I'M STUPID!!!

let go

aargh...
why is this happening...
asal...
i have to leave you forever...
coz i just cant bear with the pain
but who would be so stupid...
why would a sick person let go of its cure...

though my heart is being smashed like hell
though the pain i can't take
i still have to let you go
i want you with all my heart
but i think the best thing to do is to let you go

the pain you feel [if you feel anything]
its multiplied my 1oo
on how i feel it happening

i miss all the times we were so happy together
your laughter is echoed in my head
i want you back!!!
but you don't

my love for you is true
more truthful than anything in the past
first time a found a friend like you
i wish we could be together forever

the promise that i made..
i said it from the bottom of my heart
i want to keep it forever
but maybe you don't

the pain that i feel everytime i ignore you
but till the end of time i will still love you
you can ask anyone of my closest friend
how painful it is
how much i love you
i've told them my feelings
its infinte

now i'm letting you go
at the same time...
i'm also letting go of the reason why i live

but if you want me
call my name
tell me you want me back
tell me you feel the same

sakit

ahhh damn men...
its so slashing my heart out...
God...
wish i could die. cant take it.
so painful. agony, anguish, distress, misery, suffering, pain...
argh!!!
youre the only one who can take it all away.
even though i hang out with other ppl im still thinking of you.
one of i kind, cant be replaced
you said she's your soul
and wenever u see her happy ur happy too
if i hug her its as if im huging u too
but
i'd rather be wit u than be wit them.
honestly men. telling the bloody truth.
pls dun ignore me.
all memories flashing back
i just cant write my feelings all out
no words can explain it.
di ko na kaya
bakit mo ko palagi sinasaktan
mahal na mahal kita
pero ginaganito mo ko
ang sakit
ur the only person hu made me cry
the person who you love most
ends up to be the one hu hurts you the most
if you dun want me then fine!
then im leaving you!
eventhough life will be worthless if i wuld do tt
SAKIT!!!
paalam na aking mahal...
kay hirap sabihin...
paalam na aking mahal...
kay sakit limutin...
but i have to let go...

thankyou

it took sometime
for me to notice
now i find that it rhymes
now it all comes to this

just want you to know
wana let it show
dont wana let u go
just follow the flow

all my achievements
the root is u
all my succes
its because of the things u do
now i'm gonna take this moment
to show my gratitude
thanks for the encouragement
introducing a new altitude

sometimes i might make you
disappointed in meagitated with me
it also makes me feel blue

just wana let u know
it causes sorrow
those things i just regret
wish i could make u forget

xie xie ni
youre the reason why the world goes round
terima kasih
u make my life an exciting ground
nandree
intimate companion i have found
just wana thank you thank you

yo

so happy
no prob
except for school
i love my friends
norazura
khad
ibro
pet
aifah
nurul
aten
atie
mwahahahaha
so bored
got nothing to say
wats the ans for qn 4 reap?
i hate sex
ok
bye bye
nie rules
rappers rules
yamakaze rules
zathaz l7 rules
watever

promises

i wont make a promise
cause i don't know how to keep it
but i'm going to tell u this
all e times i had wit u is worth it

if ever u die
i can't promise to die wit u
if u got to go to hell
i cant promise to give up heaven for u
bt wat's heaven if your not there as well
the glory of heaven cant even stop me cry

caz heaven is where my God lives
for his love, evrythin i will giv

but i shout my gratitude to Him
for giving me a friend like you
not only a fren but a sister too
friendship culd be shatterd into pieces
but even in time, sisterhood never ceases
He gave me e promise i dreamed

but wenever i see u filled with misery
i feel devastated and losing my dignity
reali wish i could just release the agony
i also feel the distress in reality

now listen to all poems and songs i wrote
understand the depth of e meaning
its not jus a simple quote

they culd say watevr they want
they culd swear wenever they want
they can hate u for infinity
but nothings gonna change my point of view

the only promise i can make
which i will perserve
watever it takes,
is that since from e begining
since from e start
all e things i said
i disclosed it from my heart

stupid people!

why i concider people are stupid:
 
>when u attract attention they ignore you
>but when you stay silent they go "hey... what happen to you
 
>they want to have B.G.R.
>but in the end they break up
 
>everyday they keep on annoying and teasing you
>but when its your birthday they completely ignore you
 
>when you always hang out with them they get sick of you
>when you dont see them for a long time they miss you
 
>the say the more the merrier
>but actually, the more the messier
 
>they like to insult people
>but when they are the one insulted they get angry
 
>they say they hate a person
>but they still talk to that person
 
>they say they want to grow thiner
>but they still eat like pigs
 
>they have a crush on a person
>but they dont talk to their crush and tries to avoid them
 
>when they are hungry they say their stomach hurts
>when they are full they say their stomach hurts
 
>they're scared of a teacher
>but when the teacher turns his back they star swearing at him
 
>when thay hate someone
>they inluence people to hate that someone too.
 
>they talk alot when they're with their friends
>but when teacher asks them to answer a qn they're completely silent
 
>the only time they are at their best behavior is when sleeping
 
>they read this artcicle and say "'that's crap!"'
 
 

The reason

everytime it is so disappointing
why is it that way
i try my best to fit in
i strugle day by day
why do i have to desert my past
when i was replete with it
i was forced to let go my grasp
had to move on and accept my defeat
now i'm missing my other world
to double the pain, i'm an outcast here
i've had enough of the things i heard
nobody understands why i waste my tear
but how can i make my life so light
when this  world is full of fights
still i have to endure
i have to make my life pure
to have a lucid future
to make a reason so sure
finaly i found the reason
i learnt how to look at the sun
when i really met Him in person
He showed me how to deal with life
that i only need Him to drive
to put all my trust in Him
because He can do everythin'
He's my only trusted friend
who is always by my side till the end
so now i'm not imprisoned anymore
He released from the slavery of pain
i give my life to Him. sun or rain
because of the love He gave to the core
i tell you now i tell you then
that you should meet my Old Best Friend
because He died for me and you
is there any love you can find so true
BELIEVE in JESUS

creepazoids

if u die
a thousnd tears i wuld cry
if u die
i just can't say gudbye

my world rotates becoz of u
i wonder if i am to you too 
coz i wuld do anythin 4 smeone i tresure
n thats true

i wuld go a million miles
jus 2 be wit u for a while

maybe smetimes it may luk lyk im not tinkin of u
but every second i long for u

no if u over sliped from my grip
i dunno wat 2 do
i wuld stumble n trip
cant bear witout u

now dun ask me wat wul i do
if u move on to the next world
how wuld i feel if ur no longer here

coz i'l tell u once, i'l tel u twice
i wudnt add in any lies
if i must ever go on witout you
i jus wudnt no wat to do

so dunt ask again!!!

unlucky

UNLUCKYBY: EUNICE
early in the morning, i woke up
wished for the time to stop
so i can go back to my sweet dreams
where i was eating a chocolate ice cream
i took a bath, the shower was to cold
i screamed coz the water was freezing
my mother bursted to the door and began to scold
i was still nakie so i continued shrieking
as i walked to school i slipped
fell down into the mud
i looked like a tribal chief, oh my God
my underwear exposed coz everything is ripped
still went to school, uniform dirty, mud all over my face, wen they saw me, in laughter, they were rolling on the floor
banging the wall and table till their hands were sore
i was like standing there feeling disgraced
D.M. saw me, he tried to keep a straight face
smebdy shouted "he dunno how to put on a make up"
D.M. abruptly started laughing, clutching his stitch
"c'mon, ya culd'v asked ur mom ta do it 4 ya.waz'up?"
bloody D.M.shul be mre responsible and told them to shut
everywhere i go i was the laughing stock of the lot
they go "hi jungle boy" i just wish they all rot
they go "pinchy ur noesy, here comes the dirty mutt"
sigh, just another normal day in the campus
i wonder what catastrophe will happen tomorrow
black eye, broken rib, deformed face, sprained ankle
friends deserting, teachers giving another row
eyeball poked out, cock cut away, say aloha to father's day
i wish all this sufferings to just go
middle finger confiscated by "THE P" coz i showed it 2 to him
i want to puke, i feel so low
"go and die fucker, what's ur value in this world"
i'd rather be in the grave if you say so
i wonder if i'm the only one hu's going thru this
even my family does not give me a single kiss
i wonder if my life's just for lease
or maybe it's just simple luck i missed

nerds

b nice to nerds coz they come in handy

u can bully them to surender their candy

when ur bankrupt and fave food is on e menu

his a portable bank, he wil gv al his money to u

wen u forgot to do ur h.w. and dun noe how to do

ask the nerd and he wil gv u a clue

when he's beside you during exam, ur lucky

he will tell u whether e ans is a, b, c, or d

wen ever u feel bored, a nerd is by ur side

u can play catch, or hide and seek

but if he didn catch the ball u hv a free kick

in the "u noe where he is weak"

wenevr u play, its alwys u seek, he hide

he wil try his best so tt he cant b found

he will not make a scratchy sound

he wil stay flat on the ground

but if u find him its gonna be a bumpy ride

but...

i tel u now i tel u then

i'l tel u till the world will end

stop picking on nerds

the hurt can't be vanished by words

tey wont gv u helping hands

coz u've mistreated a fren

tey ar a crafty herd

they will be on the top of e world

so tke my advise, my beloved son

dont ever mistreat a nerd coz

u mite end up working 4 one.

let me sing for ya

"Faint"

I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can’t help the fact that everyone can see
these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe
this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got

(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)

I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident
Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make
sense
I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear
me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got

(No)
(Hear me out now)
(You're gonna listen to me, like it or not)
(Right now)
(Hear me out now)
(You're gonna listen to me, like it or not)
(Right now)

something's missing

incomplete today
as if i'm going to a war and i didn't bring a gun
i forgot everything i need for school
also somebody's missing

and i hate nurses cause they talk to us like we are babies

missed training
damn bored

when is this chaos going to fade away
i know it wouldn't end but it would fade away
when?

lp rulz... this song is how i feel

"Easier To Run"

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change

It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

truth hurts

the emotion that i see in your eyes,
an aura of depression radiating so strong.
stars droping down the sky
you would rather die,
than to carry this burden along.

ask me why i mourn for you.
why do i feel the distress,
that's supposed to be hidden.
it's because i too went through,
all of this suffering none the less.
when you see someone leavin'

i don't wanna break this up
but i think i must let you know what's up
i don't wanna tell you the truth
but i need to tell you where's the root

cause i can't stand watching you so naive
not knowing the reason why did she leave

you say you wish you have her back
but tell me what's the use of that
when you ain't gonna change anyway
that's why she didn't wanna stay

firstly its your fault why she ditched you
cause your a bloody ditcher too
this is where it all start
keep one friend and don't depart

sure i, too contributed to this mess

i wish i could turn back the time
delete the chance i had to meet you
even though i want it with all my heart
i'll let it go
for the sake of not hurting you

but concisely it's your own mistake
because the consequence can be disastrous
where's your conscience before you act
just be perspicuous

you would rather have her than me
the hit u gave me proved eveything
so sad i've love you so thruly
but you know i'm still bleeding

but...

no matter what i do
no matter what i say
whether it's not or it's true
i'm always here to stay

always remember i feel you
do you feel me?

lost in you

is this how's my life suppose to be
is this my life's wicked destiny
no matter how hard i try
i always end up making you cry

i try to be the person
you want me to change into
i try my best to hold on
to keep the pain inside

but i'm losing my grip
i need to let go and weep
cause there's so much inside
overflowing, that i can't hide

it's tearing me up

people ask me to part with you
because of the hurt you put me through
because of the senseless things you do
they say your friendship is not true
to who should i listen to?

i'm stuck men, where should i go
go back to my usual walk
or just be hypnotised by their blind talks
i'm lost men, i don't know who to follow

eventhough i want to be by your side
others will despise me for doing that
the whole in my heart's so wide
i just need you cover it flat

like a lost sheep in the wilderness
wating to be found by its beloved shepherd

but i'm just too scared to get near you
i don't want history to rewind this phenomenon
like a bird in the middle of the ocean, no refuge
can't solve this problem, so much easier to run